They All Want To Be Tyler Durden

They all want to be Tyler Durden.

Strong the way we are not.

Free the way we are not.

We close our eyes to picture what we are.

We are not our CK shirts,

We are not our DKNY jeans.

We are what they tell us to be.

Tyler says, “This is why I blew up your apartment.”

To set us free;

To let us be.

We all want to be Tyler Durden.

To think like he thinks;

To be like he is.

He views us as puppets on a stage,

This theatre of mass destruction.

In his eyes nothing matters.

All we want is Tyler Durden, Tyler Durden, Tyler Durden.

We become what he wants.

And when we become Tyler Durden we begin what we missed.

But what we don’t know, is that Tyler Durden doesn’t exist.

I've Packed Up My Things From Champaign--

I've packed up my things from Champaign,

'Til there was nothing of mine that remain.

I'm leaving tomorrow,

Back to Chicago,

Where my loneliness again I attain.

Without You Around--

Without you around, it's just not the same,

Because love is a two player game.

Now I'll sit here is sadness;

Plotting my madness

'Til finally I go insane.

My Heart isn't Broken--

My heart isn't broken but it's rotting away;

Because time doesn't destroy, only creates the decay.

So I'll just lie here in pain,

With nothing to gain

In hope that these thoughts go away.

The History of Rap Music (Timeline)

Contrary to what you may have been told, artists such as Grandmaster Flash and the Sugar Hill Gang did not begin the phenomena we know today as rap music. It seems somewhere along the way, the true history was lost. Kept out of textbooks and censored from out fragile ears. Lucky for you, I am the only one who’s got the facts…

2,011,000 B.C.

Putac, a barbarous cave dweller, accidentally burns himself during the invention of fire, and let’s loose a 15-minute, non-stop burst of primitive curse words. He will ever be known as “the Grandfather of Rap.”

32 B.C.

The promising rap career of Flavour Flavius is cut short when he is forced into early retirement due to a massive neck strain caused by wearing a concrete sundial.

1 A.D.

Jesus is sentenced to crucifixion after changing his name to Jay-C, and constantly dissin’ on Caesar’s crew.

448 A.D.

There is a huge outcry against rap music, led by the protests over the controversial song, “Hun Killa.”

1498 A.D.

Leonardo da Vinci abandons his painting and inventing, devoting all his energy to his rap career. The move pays off, as the Renaissance rapper enjoys great success under his stage name, Italian Ice.

1536 A.D.

King Henry VIII continues the pimping game with his fifth wife, subsequently coining the phrase “Bitches ain’t shit.”

1517 A.D.

Angered by the indulgences against rap music, Martin Luther nails his 99 Problems to the church’s door.

1601 A.D.

William Shakespeare becomes so inspired by the ongoing rap sensation, he scraps his current play Romeo and Juliette, and writes a beautiful story about true love found between opposing gangs, the Crips and the Bloods. 

1693 A.D.

In Salem, Massachusetts, 17 defendants are executed in a series of witch trials, but not before touring as “Wytches With Problems” in seven of the thirteen colonies.

1905 A.D.

After changing his name from Albert Einstein to Al B. Smart, Al develops his famous Theory of Relativity. This theory states that once you become a rap success, all your leech relatives can get recording contracts by using your name.

1917 A.D.

War breaks out. It’s all rap music’s fault.